Speaking Mute

2000's so far.....

2008-12-10T14:15:00.000-08:00

2000 was fine

'01 to a parent just an ordinary son

'02 wasn't nothin new

'03 started to shaped who I would be

'04 was in to sports alot more

'05 felt great to be alive

'06 had this girl thought she was the baddest bitch

'07 graduation a nigga felt he was in heaven

'08 wrong choices bad timing alot of shit on my plate

'09 is 200mine

'10 is when the real story begins......

PSA

2008-12-10T14:04:00.000-08:00

Aint been writing much but I'll post up Everything I wrote in November. Just aint had a chance yet. Till then wait for them lol.

Ab.....out

Immune

2008-11-08T15:11:00.000-08:00

I can't feel when dumb shit occurs
Or a tragic events happen
It's everyday typical stories
Call me watever you portray i as
Insensitive
Thick skinned
Uncaring
Detached
Unemotional
Callous
Unmoved
Dispassionate
Listless
Nonchalant
Whatever you see my impervious being as you call it what you want
I just sympathize your false sympathy and putting up a front
I hate that and thats when the bullshit fumes
So I just ignore it...and become immune.

Lost In The Rock. R.I.P. Stack Bundles

2008-10-30T00:24:00.000-07:00

I Seem To Be Lost In My Own Thoughts
Reality Chasing My Dreams, My Cries Seem To Be Mistakin For Screams
No Trust In My Eyes, Can't Believe The Shit That I've Seen
Follow My Lead And End Up In A Place Thats Serene
Sirens Ring In My Ear, Nightcene Things Everywhere
Pipe Springs Smell Of Fiends In The Air
Light Green When I Stare, But Im Still Hoping To Hear
The Same Shit I Been Hoping For Years
Sign Right Here, Marked Blunt John Hancock Been Ready
Thought It Make My Heart Stop Feel My Palm Is Sweaty
I've Done This On The Date Of My Birth
Felt So Wrong The Shit Made My Emotions Reverse
Had My Heart Beating Fast As Fuck
Had To Back Shit Up, Settled Down For A While Thought I Was Acting Up
Money'll Make You A Slave, Love'll Make You A Fool
God Paved The Way, I'm Never Losing My Cool
Understand I'm A Man Cuz Of Circumstance
I Was Dealt This Hand So Im Focused Fam
Ignorance Is Bliss, Confidence Is This That I Am
Im Atilla The Hun, Maybe A Ghengis Kahn
Black Viking I'm Gettin It On
My Music It Been Right, You Been Listening Wrong
Young Nigga Tryna Take My Plight, Punch Line Is Clever
But You Niggas Cant Have My Synclavia
And Thats Why I Flow So Better, You Don't Know No Better
Never Learned About Money, Won't Earn No Cheddar
Been Had Learned About Money, At The Age Of 13 In Vegas Doing My Thing
Exotic Gators Me And My Team, My Old Head ad Me At The Vibe Party With Jennifer Lopez
Spitting Game Like Gomez, Heres The Twist Way Before I Had Braids I Was Trying To Grow Dreads
Bred By The Thorough Breds, It Aint Hard To Tell
Check My Family Tree, What you Expect From Me
Poppa Got It In Bricks, Im A Chip Off The Old Block......
And Im Lost In The Rock

-Stack Bundles

Damn Stack Bundles Murdered this song. One Of My Favorites

Once again R.I.P. Stack Bundles

The Scar

2008-10-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

Wounds don't hurt me unless they cut deep

To the point where so much emotion seeps

The blood gushes and overflows

Along with it the love and the care goes

You were in my heart yet you cut your way out

There were other ways but you took the most painful route

I was always scared to give my trust and thought I conquered that fear

But then you stabbed my heart and that damn near brought out tears

Out of all people I would never ever thought you'd bleed me

Especially when through hard times you kept me happy

You fucked up and I know we all make mistakes

But this seems more like a fuck you just to go and hear my heart break

You said thought about me like it's supposed to dull the pain

It just made me sick and got me goin' insane

I hated you and apart of me still does

Because you complained things weren't how they was

Yet the one I loved gave me great sorrow

A scar greater than anything from any foe

But I'm keeping my distance this time my feelings will stay far

Because I can forgive but I can never forget this eternal scar

Depression

2008-10-17T03:35:00.001-07:00

Depression.....
The recession
No job
No income
No care
No feeling
No pain
No emotions
No fear
See none
Hear none
Voice no opinion
I'm being led backwards
So theres no progression
Emotions are dead
I just feel pain in my stomach
Yet pain is what numbs it
No wrist cutting though
I just push myself
I do push-ups 'till my arms collapse
I do crunches 'till I throw up
I don't even eat the same shit anymore
I feel like fighting
I want to break something
I want to let all my ill feelings out
I want to knock somebody the fuck out
I want to stomp them in the fucking ground
I want to scream
I want to yell
I WANT TO LIVE LIFE ON MY TERMS!!!!!!!!!!!

The Falling

2008-10-17T03:29:00.000-07:00

I've fallin'
So far
Too far
Down
No help
No people
Nobody
Alone
As usual
So it's easy
No
It's not
I think
I know
I can climb out this hole
Alone
Yet I keep failing
Thus I keep falling
Deeper and deeper
The higher I try to climb the farther I fall
Wondering where is the bottom
I refuse to stop climbing
Arrogance is my drive
Will is my drive
So....
I climb
Alone
My fingers are tattered from the rigid walls.
They bleed
They bleed continuously
My hand slaps the rigid wall
Leaving the last imprint
Before
I
Fall
The hands continue to reach out to help
I continue to refuse
Then
I realize.....
I still never actually hit the bottom
Hands
Hands of loved ones held me up the whole time
Never once letting me crash
No life ending fall
No life altering collision
Then I start to climb
Not using my hands but the hands of loved ones
The hands that care
The hands that created and shaped my being
And as I rise
I uplift them also
Bringing them out of the hole created for me
Bringing them to the top as I am.
For without them I would have died in the bottom

This Is Hell

2008-10-17T03:15:00.000-07:00

This Is Hell

The streets on fire
Thats why it's hot out
Thats why we all have sickness
We're all diagnosed with something
Theres no cure for most of it
Theres just surpressants
What happends when the heat becomes too unbearable
And they stop working........
Thats why we're crazy
It's killing my psyche
Everything is extra irritable
Everythings extra miserable
I'm gonna explode
Let all my fire out
Thats it........
He bumped me
There is no cooling off
I threw fireballs all around
Watching others also get hit and fall helplessly to the ground
Now I'm labled insane cause I let my fire go
With no disregard I let my fire blow
With no disregard I let that devil show
This is hell

The Average

2008-10-17T03:10:00.000-07:00

The Average

I'm broke
My clothes are average at best
I'm not atheletic
Not too many people hang with me
No girls like me
I've never held a gun
I've never did drugs
I won't drink untill I'm able to
I like school
I go to every class
I get picked on because I'm smart
I'm depressed
I cut myself
Why am I living
Why is school hell for me
I don't want to be here anymore
But I can't leave my family
I'll stick life out for them
I graduated High School
I'm in college
A good one at that
I got a scholarship
I meet people just like me
I'm no longer a virgin
1 Years Done
2 Years Done
3 Years Done
I meet a girl
She likes me for me
I like her for her
We like the same things
She's smart like me
She becomes my girlfriend
4 Years done
I graduated college
I have a Bachelors Degree
My girlfriend does too
I get a great job
I make great money
I marry my girlfriend
I'm happly married
My wifes pregnant
9 months later
I have a son
My life is great!!!!

Life Is...

2008-10-17T03:06:00.000-07:00

Life Is

..Life is a challenge

The Strong make the best of what gets thrown there way,

The Average bitch and moan,

The Weak gives up..

Life is a gift

The Strong realizes this and is thankful everyday and takes a deep breath upon awakening

The Average doesnt realize and takes it for granted and never being thankful for the postion they are in

The Weak throws it away without care and at times taking it from him or herself

Life is precious

The Strong values, cherish and preserves their life and the lives of others

The Average is selfish and would be lucky just to worry about their own

The Weak has disregard for all life not even an ounce of humanity to realize it importance

The Purpose Of Love

2008-10-17T03:03:00.000-07:00

The Purpose Of Love

What is love.

Why does love exist

Why is it so good that it hurts.

Why does it hurt so bad you wish you never felt it

Why even though its so painful they say its better to have loved then to never love at all

Love inspires great accomplishments

Love inspires great sorrow

It can make a life

It can take a life

It can inspire your mind

It can warp your mind

It uplifts souls

It can burn the soul

It feeds off feelings of another...but so does hate

It opens the heart only for it to be deeply wounded

Deciet, digust and distrust would surely fill it

But you can never choose who you love

My body has 3 minds and the heart has to be the dumbest

Cuz my dick never put in a position of stress

And my brain has never did either

But my fucking heart has

It's as if it wants to hurt it's self

Why heart? Why?

Why give me feelings for someone that will hurt you

Why try and make yourself ache and feel sick

Why must you break yourself!!!!

I finally understand.....

All the heart aches and breaks

Leading to mending yourself

The deceit, disgust and distrust all to learn from and feel the exact opposite with another.

I've felt the joy

I've felt this undescriable feeling

I've felt that true love.

And I know that my women feels the same.

Trust

2008-10-17T02:59:00.001-07:00

Trust

I can't help it

I can't give it to those who are deserving of it

Those that are close in the heart

Those that know me better then most

My trust is hard to gain

I can say the reason why

But what will it change

You probably been toying with me anyway

You probably just used me and have another man on the way

We all get hurt in the end anyway

So why take a chance on it and get played........

4 Walls

2008-10-17T01:54:00.000-07:00

4 Walls

Sittin' In The Dark Me and My 4 Walls

No Friends No Fam Just Me and My 4 Walls

No Phone No PC Just Me And My 4 Walls

No Bitches No Broads Just Me And My 4 Walls

No Thoughts No Things Just Me And My 4 Walls

No Thoughts No Sense Just Me And My 4 Walls

No Way Out Just Insanity Up In These 4 Walls

No Way Out Just A Genius In These 4 Walls

No Way Out No Way In In These 4 Walls

Nowhere To Sit Nowhere To Go In These 4 Walls

Nowhere To Lay Nowhere To Stay In These 4 Walls

Just Hate And Violence In These 4 Walls

Just Love And Peace In These 4 Walls

Fuck Your Opinion And What You Think In My 4 Walls

Fuck Your Morals And Your Beliefs In My 4 Walls

Fuck Ya Attitude And Ya Toughness In My 4 Walls

Fuck Ya Kindness And Ya Bitchness In My 4 Walls

Fuck Ya Birth And Ya Death In My 4 Walls

Fuck Ya Problems Fuck Ya Life In My 4 Walls

Now Theres Alot Of Emotions Within My 4 Walls

Alot Of Silence And Comotion Within My 4 Walls

Alot Of Bitches Alot Of Broads Within My 4 Walls

Alot Of Women Alot Of Sinin' Within My 4 Walls

Alot Of Homies Alot Of Friends Within My 4 Walls

Alot Of Family Alot Of Caring Within My 4 Walls

Every Thought Is Outside Even Within My 4 Walls

Theres Just Freedom No Laws Within My 4 Walls

My Religion My Beliefs Within My 4 Walls

My Likes My Dislikes Within My 4 Walls

My Hate My Loves Within My 4 Walls

Theres Just The Past and The Present Within My 4 Walls

Cuz The Futures In My Foresight Within My 4 Walls

Im Just Me In My 4 Walls

Im Just Me To All......... And Fuck Your 4 Walls

Uh!!!!!

2008-10-17T01:52:00.000-07:00

This the poetry....

'nuff said.

-Ab-